This just about sums up 2020. It’s been a year to remember. Or forget, depending on your prerogative. For me, 2020 has been a bit of both for me. Certainly some negatives.
Not everything has been f$%ked, though.
Photographically, 2019 was probably my worst year in, well, years. I took hardly any photos and barely enjoyed it when I did. One thing I can say about 2020 so far is I’m enjoying carrying a camera again.
I think at some point in 2019 I started to feel pressure to take photos. Pressure to take “good” photos. I felt discouraged because I didn’t feel like I was doing much of that. I felt embarrassed to be “just” taking photos of my cats.
Sometime in 2020 I came to the realization that I don’t “need” to be good. I don’t need to be someone else’s idea of good. I don’t “need” to be taking a certain type of photo. All I really “need” to be doing is having fun again with the camera.
Step 1: Carrying a camera.
I had a lot of issues with cameras in 2019. From Leicas being sent back to Germany to my beloved Rolleiflex spending much of the year waiting for a donor for its own repair. It’s not an excuse, it just is what it is. I think these things contributed to it being a downer of a year.
2020 has felt different. I don’t care as much anymore about what I’m taking photos of. I don’t feel pressure to take “good” photos. I walk around in the morning with a camera and just enjoy the walk, taking a photo or two along the way. I listen to an audiobook and just wander. I’ve not done that for years.
While I think 2017 Josh wouldn’t have been very happy with the output, 2020 Josh is just happy to have output. And that’s fine. Maybe it’s even good?
In 2020 I released a zine. I already started working on a second for the year based on my time in Toronto. In 2020, I hired a manager to keep me honest. In 2020, I’ve made an actual effort to get my YouTube channel going. I even made a video last week: “Sorry, Ricoh.”
I even spent money, REAL money, on a camera 2017 Josh would have laughed at in order to actually try to be more of a creator.
I’ve got a lot to say. I didn’t make a YouTube channel to make money. It isn’t about that for me. I made it because:
I’ve got a lot to say.
So, what WILL I be saying? Some of the upcoming videos include a “review” of the Leica Digilux 2, a talk about photography as a relationship and photographing loved ones, “reviews” of the Pentax MX and Rolleiflex T, some bag reviews like using the Peak Design Travel Duffle on a photography trip, and even a bit of other technology like editing photos on a “headless” Macbook Pro for Adobe.
Honestly, for the first time in a long time, I’m excited by all of this. Excited to get a fresh start. It’s almost like that feeling of stepping out of the shower after a humid day.
And just if you’re curious, these are photos from my most recent roll. Nothing special, but, that’s hardly the point I guess 😉
If you have any ideas for what you’d like me to cover on the YouTube channel feel free to let me know!
Until next time,